The Biggest Mistake Every First-Time Mom Makes

Okay, I’ll admit it—I totally tricked you into reading this. I know you clicked on this post looking for ways to be a better mom, and I get it. But before we dive into that, I need you to pause for a second and think about you. Because here’s the thing: the best way to be a better mom is by taking care of yourself first.

Let me tell you a little bit about my story. My daughter is now a year and a half old, but if I’m honest, I spent the entire first year of her life in survival mode. I gave everything I had to caring for her and left absolutely nothing for myself. I barely ate, slept whenever I could (which wasn’t often), and completely let go of the things that used to make me feel good—physically, mentally, and emotionally.

It’s taken me a while to realize that neglecting myself was the biggest mistake I made as a first-time mom. I thought that by pouring all of myself into her, I was doing the best thing for her. But in reality, I was running on fumes, and it wasn’t sustainable.

Why Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

I know the guilt all too well—you feel like every second spent on yourself is time you could be giving to your baby. But here’s the truth: taking care of yourself doesn’t make you a bad mom—it makes you a better one. You can’t show up as the mom you want to be if you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and running on empty. Your baby doesn’t just need your presence; they need your energy, joy, and patience—and you can only give those things when you prioritize yourself.

What Happens When You Don’t Take Care of Yourself

When we push our own needs aside, it doesn’t take long for burnout to creep in. Here are a few things I experienced during that first year of motherhood:

• Exhaustion became my new normal. I convinced myself I was fine, but the truth was, I was just getting by.

• I felt disconnected from myself. I forgot who I was outside of being a mom.

• Postpartum anxiety hit hard, and I struggled to talk about it because I thought it meant I was failing.

It wasn’t until I started taking small steps toward self-care that things began to change. And let me tell you—those small steps made a huge difference.

How to Start Prioritizing Yourself

I know how hard it is to carve out time for yourself, especially when you’re in the thick of it. But trust me, even the smallest changes can help. Here are a few things that worked for me:

1. Accept help when it’s offered—or ask for it.

I used to think I had to do everything myself, but asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re smart.

2. Find pockets of peace.

You don’t need hours—start small. Sip your coffee while it’s hot, take a deep breath, or sneak in 10 minutes of journaling.

3. Rest when your baby rests.

Forget the laundry; it can wait. Sleep is essential for your mental health.

4. Move your body when you can.

Even a short walk with your baby in the stroller can lift your mood and give you a moment to reset.

5. Eat more than leftovers.

I know how tempting it is to live off your toddler’s snacks, but your body needs real fuel.

6. Do one thing that makes you feel like you.

Whether it’s reading, dancing around the house, or calling a friend—find small ways to reconnect with yourself.

You Deserve Care Too

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that motherhood means giving up everything you are for your baby. But you deserve the same love and care that you pour into your child. When you take care of yourself, you’re teaching your baby what it looks like to live with balance and self-love.

I spent so much time believing that motherhood was about sacrificing myself. But now, as I look back, I see that taking care of me is part of taking care of her. When I’m rested and happy, I show up for my daughter as the mom I want to be—not the overwhelmed, exhausted version I used to be.

So, mama—please, take a moment for yourself today. Rest. Eat. Move your body. Ask for help. Whatever self-care looks like for you, embrace it, guilt-free. You don’t have to give up yourself to be a good mom. In fact, the more you care for yourself, the better you’ll be able to care for your baby.

You’ve got this. And you deserve every bit of love and care you give to others—including yourself.

Let’s Connect!

Mama, you’re not alone in this journey. Have you struggled with making time for yourself? What small self-care rituals have helped you feel more like you again? I’d love to hear your story and encourage each other along the way!

Leave a comment below or reach out to me directly—let’s connect, share, and grow together. Follow me on social media or subscribe to the blog for more real talk about motherhood, wellness, and self-love. Remember, we’re in this together!

You’ve got this, and I’m cheering you on every step of the way. ❤️