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I’ve always been the type of person who literally feels ill when I have to ask for help. I dread it. Why? Two reasons: I want to handle everything on my own, and I’m terrified of rejection. The thought of someone saying “no” after I’ve already mustered the courage to ask is enough to make me not want to ask at all.
This mindset spilled over into my prayer life. I couldn’t stand praying for something over and over again, only to feel like my prayers weren’t answered. It felt like rejection. It hurt more to pray than to stay silent, so I stopped. I saw prayer as a sign of weakness, and I hated the little sliver of hope it gave me—only for things to not work out.
“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7
But I’ve grown and learned a lot about prayer. Part of that growth came from recognizing what I was doing wrong. This post is about how I changed my perspective on prayer and began to understand its true power. A big part of that was learning what not to do. So here are the two biggest mistakes I made when it came to prayer, and how I turned them around.
1. I Had the Wrong Expectations About Prayer
I used to think of prayer like the genie in Aladdin: I make a wish, and it’s supposed to come true, right? Obviously not. My prayers were more like demands—”give me this job,” “make this situation better”—without considering any work on my end. I was praying for things to magically fall into my lap with little effort. But that’s not what prayer is about.
Instead of praying for instant success, I learned to pray for the strength to work toward success. Now, I don’t pray for nothing bad to happen during the day—I pray for the resilience to get through whatever challenges come my way. I ask for courage to try new things, not for everything to go perfectly.
Prayer isn’t about avoiding hardship; it’s about finding the strength and wisdom to face it head-on. That shift in perspective changed everything for me.
Writing down my thoughts and prayers helped me stay more intentional, track my growth, and see how God was moving in my life. If you’re looking for a helpful tool to enhance your prayer life, I highly recommend this Prayer Journal. It’s been a game-changer for me, offering structure and space for reflection as I deepen my connection with God.
2. I Wasn’t Praying for God’s Will
This was a big one. I used to pray for specific outcomes—jobs I wanted, opportunities I thought were perfect for me—and when they didn’t happen, I felt like God wasn’t listening or didn’t care. I’d beg and plead for things I thought were right for me, and when they didn’t work out, I’d feel defeated.
What I didn’t understand at the time was that God’s will is far greater than anything I could imagine. My boyfriend, who’s really strong in his faith, always tells me, “When one door closes, God opens up 100 more.” That truth has really stuck with me. Now, I don’t pray for the things I want, I pray for what He wants for me.
This shift has allowed me to see setbacks and closed doors in a whole new light. Instead of feeling abandoned when things don’t go my way, I trust that something better is on the horizon—something aligned with His will. Every obstacle becomes an opportunity, and every failure feels like it’s guiding me toward something greater.
So there it is—the two biggest mistakes I made when it came to prayer, and how learning from them has deepened my faith. Prayer is powerful, but it’s not about wishing for a perfect life. It’s about asking for the strength, wisdom, and trust to walk the path that’s meant for you—even when it’s hard to see where it leads.
“For I know the plans I have for you. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. if you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you, says the Lord.” Jeremiah 29:11-14
If you’ve struggled with prayer like I have, know that it’s okay. We all go through seasons of doubt. But remember, God is always listening, and He’s always working for your good. Trust in His will and lean into prayer for the strength to navigate the highs and lows of life. You’ve got this!
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in my prayer journey is the importance of staying rooted in God’s Word. When we consistently turn to scripture, we’re reminded of His promises, His guidance, and the peace ONLY He can provide. If you find yourself struggling to stay consistent in your prayers or seeking more intentional time with God, I highly recommend this Daily Prayers Devotional. It’s been a wonderful tool for me to not only deepen my prayer life but also stay immersed in scripture, allowing me to better understand His will and align my heart with His truth.
Let’s Connect!
Prayer is such a personal and powerful part of our relationship with God, and we all face different challenges in our spiritual journeys. I’d love to hear your experiences—whether you’re learning to grow in your prayer life or have found peace in staying connected to God’s Word. Feel free to share your thoughts or prayer requests in the comments below, or reach out to me on Instagram, or Pinterest. Let’s walk this faith journey together, supporting and encouraging one another in prayer.
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